Sunday, June 1, 2008

Note To Self:

Self, WTF were you thinking taking little kid to the orchestra??

Sure, you told yourself it was billed as a "family concert", but you knew it was the last performance of the season, and it was in the afternoon, and it was inexpensive, which ALWAYS means the elderly will be there in droves.

And they were. Both camps; the ones delighted by the mere sight of children and the fact that they were at the orchestra, and the ones who would be delighted to make the entire county 55 and older and never, ever see a child again other than in a photograph.

Of course, we sat in a section comprised of old people who hate kids. Old people who hate kids REALLY hate little kid.

And yeah, his shifting around, moaning, providing vocal backup to each piece (unfortunately, he only knows Twinkle, Twinkle. And he doesn't talk, so he hums it) and then crunching loudly on the dum-dum I slipped him (illegally, I know, no food in the theater, I was trying to stop the humming), was annoying as shit. It was.

But he was being fairly good, he had a ticket, and it WAS a family concert.

The intense staring at people was also a little annoying but of course he was going to stare at people incapable of smiling. He's not used to people who are impervious to his charm. They could hardly contain their happiness when Mr. Ashley removed him from the concert entirely.

But really, the old people weren't much better, glancing back and whispering to each other each time Big Kid felt the need to whisper to me to tell me which Baby Einstein movie each song was featured in, and to make sure I saw the cymbals and heard the castanets and recognized the female percussion player. He loved it. He was actually REALLY well behaved, but he is only four. Four year olds can't spend 70 minutes totally silent, at least he whispered and kept it on topic.

He also loved the attention he got afterwards from the non-evil elderly who thought it was so cute and funny that he dug the orchestra so much. One of them even mistakenly thought I was a good mother, but I made sure she knew that this was all his idea and nothing that I've actively encouraged. I will admit that he has good taste though.

The seven year old piano playing prodigy was amazing and adorable. He's only been playing for two years, he's just one of those little musical geniuses. Big Kid was impressed. little kid, not so much.

So all in all, we had a good time. Unfortunately, we may have encroached upon the good times of others, which we really try hard not to do, but sometimes it happens. Sorry crabby old people.


Tiffany said...

Don't worry about it - if they don't ever want to see or hear little kids they should stay at home!!!!

Anonymous said...

I have a bunch of crabby old people where I live too (AZ) who often glare at my 3 little girls if we have the audacity to be somewhere like, oh, the park, the mall, or anywhere else they feel should be a child-free zone. They can bite me. Your boys were fine. I'm glad Big Kid enjoyed the orchestra so much.


Yeah, I took my daughter to see Ratatouille last summer when she was 2. It's a kids movie, right? There were kids in the theatree and my little was not being all that bad, just a little restless and noisy (she kept whispering "Mama, it's a mouse!") until she dumped a freezing cold Dr. Pepper all over me. We had to leave and I got the worst "Go to hell" look from the bitch sitting 3 seats down from us. I say, it's an arena where kids are the main audience...the people who don't like them there can leave or kiss my ass. You did good, mama. Screw those grouchy old people!

Anonymous said...

LOL at ¨sorry crabby old people¨ !!!

(can{t sign in to my blogger account right now. on hubby{s account & his stupid {at{ button is not working) ugh!

Mamahut said...

We live in a retirement community too. Some wise ass put a pool in the activity center....where all of the old people hang out and yes we love to go and piss them all off. The old people will love him when he is a famous actor, huh? Stunt man? May be a marathon runner?

Melodie said...

Screw the old people. If they didn't want to put up with little kids, they would have spent the money to go see the orchestra at night, with full price tickets. When something is billed as a "family" event, that means little kids and their parents - not old geezers (unless they are bringing their grandchildren).

Anonymous said...

My little S refers to Fur Elise as the "rocket song" thanks to Little Einstein... happy she recognizes the tune readily, but despite my protests that it is in fact Beethoven, it remains, the "rocket song"