Monday, June 16, 2008

Wild Thing-Updated

I really hate fishing things out of the toilet.

I just caught little kid in the bathroom with a little cup full of toilet water that he was poised to pour over his hair. There were three plastic fish and a Dixie cup floating in the bowl.

Yesterday, he found an egg in my parents' barn and bit into it. The look of horror on his face as slimy yolk dripped out of his mouth and down his shirt was almost worth having to clean it all up.

Edited to add: He just broke my Lenox Tinkerbell thing. I had bought it when I was pregnant with Big Kid and it was special to me. I just caught him standing on a chair near my hutch with it in his hands and when I put on my nicest voice to ask, "Oh can mommy have that?" to prevent him from throwing it...he smashed it to the ground. :-(

17 comments:

Val said...

Oh, I'm first...yah!

Anyway, we are all too familiar with the toilet thing.

Not long ago I flushed only to notice at the last minute a toy airplane going down. No way was I shoving my hand in there so I let it go. Just a couple days later the toilet backed up into the bathtub...and you guess it...clogged.

I had to call a guy in to snake it which ended up costing me $125.00 for 10 minutes, tops, of work.

And you think the kid would stay out of the toilet after hearing Mommy scream for days? Nope!

Shannie said...

Okay, lk biting into an egg is one of the funniest things I've heard all damn day! I would have loved to have seen that... Hifuckinglarious!

We still need to find us a good Baby Bootcamp.

Mama's Losin' It said...

Ohhhhhhhh...that last move would have put me right over the edge:

"DO YOU THINK THAT FELT GOOD LK!?! YOU THINK TINKERBELL LIKED THAT!?! DO YOU??? GET OVER HERE AND WE'LL SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT!!!!"

We're having a rough nap time situation over here right now. Why do I feel like I hate all kids?

Why does jail time sound like an appealing alternative to parenting at this point??

Mitch said...

Ooh. That sucks! RIP, Lenox Tinkerbell thing.

clemsongirlandthecoach said...

Yikes. You need a vaca. From life. Really? Head North to Atlanta and we'll live it up...Cracker Barrel style.

momtoabean said...

Well...that really fucking blows. So sorry about your Lenox Tinkerbell Thing.

jenn said...

Goddamnit. How do they know only to break the things we care about? It's never the cheap crap our in-laws give us, is it?

Rae said...

man that sucks, sorry to hear about that!!

Me! said...

My first thought was, I'd beat his a$$ and throw him in his crib/room. Then the evil part of me emerged and I think I would have taken something 'precious' of his, and smooshed it.

Ashley said...

Nothing is precious to the E-bull one though...he'd just be delighted by more destruction.

That kid is going to owe me a face lift from all of the wrinkles he's surely causing me.

Me said...

How many times a day do you cry?

Was this it?

http://cgi.ebay.com/Lenox-China-Disney-Tinkerbell-Pixie-Perfection_W0QQitemZ260250872719QQihZ016QQcategoryZ50761QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Christine said...

Man. My heart broke reading that he smashed your Lenox Tinkerbell thing. :(

Monica said...

Ds flushed a potato down the toilet at my grandparents.

Fun times.

Joy said...

Oldest dropped a car in the toilet once, funny thing is I didn't know til my cousin was here later and took her daughter pee and after she peed saw it in there! Her daddy fished it out thru the pee and all!

BTW I think it is time for lk to move out or stop breaking shit.

Fluffy Windover said...

Haaahahahaha, I don't know why, but the image of him biting into an egg totally made me fall the eff out.

sjb said...

Ohhhhh, I think Lenox Tinkerbell is resting in peace with my very favourite "World's Bestest Mum" glass that my husband and son to gave me on my 30th birthday in Australia. The Holy Terror, otherwise known as the two-and-a-half year old with blonde ringlets, "dropped" it yesterday. Her "artwork" has also been appearing all over our 180 year old heritage listed house (which we do not own, btw). Good times, good times. ANd while i was finishing this comment, she peed all over the floor. Shall we round them all up and put 'em in a camp until they're 5???

Jason said...

If he breaks your sheet....you break him.

Explain it to him while administering a healthy beating. Like I said earlier.....beat the kid into submission.

If it ain't workin...hit him harder. Follow up with a timeout in a straight jacket.