Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Dear Hogan Family,

hulk hogan family

So, you seem to be unaware of the fact that we're all pretty much done with you.

It was sort of amusing at first, you all seemed nice enough, although definitely some of the queerest individuals to ever become famous (Spencer and Heidi have you beat, but not by much). The whole show was so contrived that we were willing to overlook some of your cheesiness, thinking for sure it was a product of TV production or a misguided attempt at acting.

But no, you really are a bunch of bleached blond, fanny pack wearing pussies.

I don't use that word lightly either, as it just sounds icky to me, but I can't think of a better word to describe your spoiled, whiny, self-centered, poorly dressed & styled selves.

So I just wanted to let you know that it's enough. No more to see here. We don't need a reality show of Nick-olette getting out of jail, or Brooke being humored for any longer in the entertainment industry. That was plenty.

Thanks though.

Buh-bye now.

Quite Frankly,
Ashley

12 comments:

Anne said...

Ugh, I agree completely. They are trash.

Melodie said...

I totally agree with you on this one! I thought a reality show about them was a stupid idea in the first place. Now I'm stuck hearing about them EVERY SINGLE DAY on the local news. OMG, the whining from Baby Nicky about how hard it is to be in jail is really ridiculous! Maybe he should think about the permanent jail he has put his supposed "best friend" in. John can't even move, so I don't want to hear you bitching and moaning about how your little cell is only half the size of your bathroom at home. Boo-fucking-hoo! Eight months in jail is nothing compared to the sentence you gave to John, you idiot!

Life, Love & Lola said...

I'm embarassed that I live less than an hour away from these people! On the other hand I share the same zip code as Stephen King which makes up for it!

Me said...

The whole jail thing with Nick is pretty nausiating. He critically injured his friend (isn't he still in a coma?), but calls home every day to whine about how he should have fought going to jail for 18 months because it is so terrible. His cell "isn't much bigger than my walk in closet".

OMG.

The jail records all inmate phone calls. I heard one on the radio. Mommy and daddy are all "we are so proud of you".

Barf.

Me said...

oh - it's only 8 months?

wow.

Kim said...

Such train wrecks, but not the Britney Spears kind which can be fun to watch. Nope, not at all.

And just for the record, I L.O.V.E. to hate "Speidi". Good times.

Sandi said...

I used to love the Hulk and my brother and I watched him wrestle every Sunday morning. We were the epitomy of Hulkamaniacs. I was really excited to watch their reality show but whenI finally did, I was so bummed. What a gross family - in every sense of the word. They have really damaged their public persona and I lost one of my favorite childhood wrestlers to scandal.

Lynda Kay said...

In the new issue of Maxim, Brooke is promoting her new reality show (wtf?) & mentions that one of her friends is now confessing to doing her dad..now why are you further telling the world, further proving just how trashy your family truly is?

christi f said...

I was out on a boat this weekend and we went by their house. It looks like a freaking marina out front. It's a nouveau riche spectacle of the highest order.

The umbrellas and chaises around the pool were really quite tasteful, though. No one swimming, though...as hair the color of margarine tends to break off at the root when subjected to chlorine.

Money can't buy taste, but I sometimes wish taste could buy money.

Kim said...

I'm sorry, I just can't get the Hogans/Bolleas out of my head... Forget about Brooke's singing career - what about her dad? Yep, I said it. Hulk Hogan as Pop star.

My favorite:
Hulkster In Heaven
http://www.allthelyrics.com/lyrics/hulk_hogan

Seriously, such cheesy goodness, I can hardly stand it. I'm scared that he's trying to be serious.

beehivetales said...

Ugh, totally agree on this one. Plus someone needs to tell his son that he has a chicken head. Seriously nauseating. The big head, scrawny neck, and fauxhawk scream "cockadoodledoo!" to me.

Migraine Mom said...

Ugh...Linda Hogan was at Clearwater beach last week with her 19 year old boyfriend...gross!! My friends daughter went to highschool with Brooke (who was never there), Nick and the new boyfriend. Yuck is the only way to describe it!