Wednesday, June 4, 2008

I'm Leaving

for my photo shoot and I'm never coming back.

I've got about a half of a tank of gas and around $60 in my wallet.

Right now my plan is to drive as far as I can (probably the next town over) and figure out the rest when I get there. I will live in our Dodge Durango. Maybe I'll waitress, bag groceries, be a truck stop hooker, who knows.

I might not have internet access though, so you all may have to hang tight until my good looks and charm finally get me somewhere in this world.

16 comments:

Joy said...

I told mine I was going to my room locking the door and putting ear plugs in! Seriously school has been out for 2 weeks and I am over it. I am just tired I like your idea although I have no cash but do have a 1/2 tank of gas.

Shannie said...

Good luck. Let me know when you become established, and what you did to get there... I'll come join you. I probably have enough money to get me there. Lot lizarding, though, is not my idea of the good life... Let's shoot for high-dollar hooking.

Melodie said...

You can just drive on up to my house. I'm sure you can get here on your half-tank and $60 worth more gas. I'll even let you use my internet so you can still keep us all laughing.
And while I do have children, I do not have boys, and none of my children has ever pooped on the floor.
Oh, and my husband does all of the cooking and cleaning, so you could still live the lifestyle you've become accustomed to.

Mama's Losin' It said...

Joy can you head out to mile marker 318 and hand Ashley another 40 bucks for gas and a cookie??

Let's all disperse ourselves along the highway to handout money and perishables until she makes it to Nevada so she can join the bunny ranch.

It's wonderful there Ashley. I promise. You'll have a whole new family. When you get there ask for Mr. Pee-Omp. Tell him Mama sent'chu. He'll take real good care of you girl.

AFRo said...

I LOVED waiting tables! That'll get you pretty far if you go to the right place. Truck stop - notsomuch the right place.

clemsongirlandthecoach said...

I've tried this before. I always end up at SuperTarget and Starbucks. Best wishes with that though.

Does Mr Ashley have any cash you can steal?

carla said...

I'm sorry you're losing it, but I feel your misery. Coming to 'the closet' makes me realize I am not alone in the mothering mayhem.

Have fun hooking. But if you do come back, maybe you should get LK tested for irritable bowel. 5 poops in one day sounds extreme to me. Guess those paper products that make BK gag are great for colon cleansing, too..

Cake said...

You can use the internet at the Library...oh wait ;) I hear McD's has WiFi now.

Kira said...

The hell with escaping, with $60 you can get REALLY drunk, and then none of that other shit will matter!

Um, no pun intended by the use of the word "shit". It's a metaphor, honest.

Life, Love & Lola said...

My husbands gone for three months...come to my house I'll stock the wine rack and I promise I won't poop on the floor.

Kat said...

xanex is your friend

Me said...

I have a feeling your not totally kidding.

Impoverished Preppy said...

Read a book once with a plot very similar - Ladder of Years by (I think) Anne Tyler. You might want to read it before you head off to live in your van.

Actually go ahead, as long as you will still have internet access to carry on with your blog. :-)

Slacker Mama said...

Could you please announce the popcorn winner before you go?

Shannie said...

How 'bout you go to Life, Love and Lola's and I'll drive down and join you both there... Much better idea than hooking.

Mama's Losin It has a great idea, too. That's one of the Mister's favorite shows to watch, btw...

Angela said...

Sounds like something I've planned before...and I don't even have kids.