Thursday, January 24, 2008

Come On People, I'm Not THAT Bad...

Okay, we're going to keep the bad day stuff to a minimum because really, in the grand scheme of things, none of it is a big deal.

However, we do need to address the dead baby thing because I can't be accused of that sort of evilness, especially since it could affect voters. It is reminiscent of the whole anti-Semitic thing I got a while ago because of The Jews (my son goes to a Temple pre-k, for the newcomers). Would you believe that chick and I are good friends now? These things can be worked out.

Here is what was said:

I'll start this off by saying I'm not a troll, but I have only been coming to this board for about a month. And it is very hard to offend me about most subjects. I would've voted for you (I read all the posts that come up on the 1st page), but your "dead babies" comments really bugged me, seemed very insensitve, especially since I'm a momma of a stillborn angel boy. I understand everyone has a right to feel the way they feel, and I'm not even saying you should feel compelled to volunteer, or charge for, your time to be a photographer that does provide such a loving, wonderful service to grieving parents. What I am saying it that they had every right to make that be a segmant of the seminar and not just a booth.

Off my soapbox now (as you can tell, stillbirth is a subject extrememly close to my heart),


And here was my response, copied and pasted straight from Babycenter because I just don't have the energy to summarize or provide you with new opinions on this matter and I think this sums it up nicely:

Still birth is very close to my heart too, since one of my bestfriends who was due the same month I was gave birth to a stillborn baby. I know how deeply her experience has affected her and our group of friends donates to the March of Dimes in his memory, remembers his birthday, will forever have his name in our hearts, and have watched and tried to help through the grieving and healing (if there is such a thing) process.

My point was that as a mother and a woman and a person who was there for a photography lesson, I should have been specifically warned about what kind of photos I was about to see. I am very sensitive. Those images are etched into my mind forever and my heart is SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY broken for the parents. I can honestly say they were the most powerful images I have seen in my entire life and I know that they are priceless images and will be an enormous part of those poor parents' grieving process.

I don't watch the news. I don't click on the links of news stories around here that obviously result in something bad happening to a child. I don't expose myself to any more devastation than absolutely necessary. It is very selfish of me, and I WISH WISH WISH I could be the photographer giving those parents that priceless memory, but it would be at the sake of my own sanity. I'm even seriously considering, and even looking into, volunteering to do it for families of terminal children...really just trying to figure out if I'm even a big enough person for THAT.

My point is, I would have left the room if I had known what they were about to show. Not even that they shouldn't have shown it, just that viewing should have been optional (and I stand by the fact that it was awkward placement of the segment, at the end of a seminar on lighting)

It's okay to be offended. I do just want to clarify that my whole schtick is being inappropriate. It gets me in trouble but it also gets me attention. It also kind of helps lighten my load, know what I mean? I sort of HAD to tell someone about what I saw and how it made me feel, but decided in the context of my blog that it would be better to shock than sadden. It's okay if it's not your style, I just want to make it clear that I'm not running around making dead baby jokes or anything. It's hard to even type the phrase.


All righty then? This is awfully deep stuff for a place that talks so much about poop. Are we all clear on the fact that I'm not evil?

I just wished I hadn't seen it, that's all. For my own peace of mind.

Going to go write about my wild weekend of debauchery for you guys now, only because I promised.

8 comments:

Waffle said...

She needs to get off her high horse. If she has read your blog long enough she would know you meant nothing bad by it. You are not evil by any means. We all love you and think you are hilarious. I would feel the same exact way you felt during that seminar...I can't even watch those commercials about starving kids in Africa.

Rebecca said...

Just so's you know...I'm with you on this one.

It really shocks me when a mom puts a pic of her angel in her siggy. Even if it's a well done professional pic, they have a look. You know.

And they usually have a link to their journal, which I must go read every heart breaking word of and cry my eyes out the whole time.

Then I have to google disorders and terms I've never heard of which takes me to pages with more pictures, more testimonials, and more really really sad stories.

Before you know it, I've spend a good 4 hours of my day crying my eyes out. All because a mom wanted to say "thanks for that link".

*sigh* but I suppose it's worth it if having that picture of the angel in the siggy makes the mom feel better. Because if I get this upset just read about her angel.....it would probably kill me to have to go through it.

*sniffle*snif*SNORT*

Okay. I'm okay not. No more sappy crap for me today.

Sasha said...

Damn- I always miss the BBC drama- I high-interested a post last night about posting a pic of yourself that looked like it was getting interesting, but I had to get off and I bet it is gone now. I think you've gotta be on there 24-7 not to miss the good stuff.

By the way, I totally got what you were saying. I didn't think it was offensive at all and I totally agreed with you.

Jennifer said...

I didn't think you were making light of that situation at all. I'm with you on wanting to be warned. I avoid those kinds of images because as a mother it just breaks my heart. It's hard to move on and not dwell on it. I would write the organizers of the seminar a letter telling them that they should warn future attendees and give them a chance to skip out on that segment.

CM said...

Hmmm, anyone who reads your blog long enough knows that shock and "making light" of situations is your schtick. I read that post and didn't find it evil in the least. There are people who can handle viewing pics such as those you saw and there are those who can't. I, like you, can not watch news stories, television shows, or movies that involve children being hurt in any way. There are people who can. Those people can handle going to the hospital and dealing with a family who just lost their child. My hat goes off to those people. I couldn't do it.

PMA said...

Ashley,
As the mother to two healthy girls and one still born baby boy, I felt the need to leave a comment.
Sometimes, when you (unintentionally) offend someone, all that's needed is a sincere apology.
PMA
PS, post my comment or not, it's up to you.

AFRo said...

There was absolutely nothing wrong with anything you said in regards to your photography seminar. Sounds to me like someone is overly sensitive to the issue and my god, she has every right to be. Hope it didn't ruffle your feathers too bad. I have to share this with you though... in regards to your schtick...

I've been reading ever since the Golden Compass blog. I actually emailed it to everyone that had sent me that damn email. My mom responded to my email and chewed me out over the things you said because she thought it was terrible and un-christian-like. Which I found even more funny! I've been addicted to your writing ever since!

Anonymous said...

I wish I would have known about the comment on the Bargain Board so I could've posted. I may go back there later today to see if I can seek the poster out (emil me a link!). For I am the friend who went through the hell of having a stillborn. Ashley has been an amazing pillar of strength, understanding, and love, along with the rest of our group.

Ashley was right. A warning would have been appropriate and necessary. I found your response to the offended poster lovely and kind. Thank you.

I am so proud that Ashley calls me friend!

Marisa