I escaped the Dungeon of Drudgery yesterday (aka home) with two mostly dressed children, one without shoes and one with a fading bite mark, and hope in my heart.
You see, I finally decided that it was time to upgrade from the $29 three year old jeans that are sliding off my butt. It was finally time to give up the dream that the next pair of pants I bought would be a size 6. It was time to face my fears, and my short stubby legs, and buy some jeans I could tuck my muffin top into.
So we picked up my mom (who is always up for shopping and who really enjoys seeing the boys when I'm around to deal with them) and headed to the mall. Of course, while there we had to stop by the pet store where my mom searched in vain for another Dachshund (it's almost like she collects them) and Big Kid begged for a guinea pig (HAHAHAHAHA...not fucking happening) and I almost got busted for my participation in the conspiracy to cover up the recent death of our fish, Fish. My mom pointed out a nice new aquarium, which Big Kid loved, and I had to give an out of the side of the mouth "ix-nay on the ish-fay, we don't have one". I think it has temporarily blown over, but he's bound to notice that Fish is MIA some point.
Then we swung by Build a Bear because Big Kid had his heart set on making "a pink bear wif button eyes and da softest hair and a beeyooteedul dwess dat will be da bery sweetest bear ever for Emmers birfday." Unfortunately, none of the available bears met these exact specifications, but we worked it out after a lot of time and thought.
He told all the girls that worked there that he was making a bear for his girl friend, his bestest friend in the whole world, and they all melted and declared him the cutest kid they'd ever seen and the best boyfriend ever. They really made it special and he was so excited. He chose a little voice recorder for them to put in it and he said "You're my best fwiend Emmers" and he lovingly bathed and brushed it and agonized over which shoes would be best with the bear's dress.
(Can I pause right here to point out that the Build a Bear people are making a freaking killing? Those damn bear shoes cost as much as the last pair I bought for little kid.)
Then he filled out the birth certificate (he named it Big Kidette) and lugged it's enormous carrier around the mall, refusing to let anyone help him with it. It was a super cute experience and he's excited to give her his gift. Last night he insisted on covering it up with a blanky before he went to bed. Damn, that kid is sweet.
Anyway, I was excited about this trip because I keep hearing how awesome the Old Navy sale is. Not mine. Ugh. A bunch of overpriced, ugly crap all crammed onto the racks willy nilly. It's always a mess in there. I wasn't too devastated because I've come to realize that Old Navy doesn't make jeans that fit most human beings correctly. I think this is an upselling tactic, they hope you'll go to Gap or Banana Republic where the same company does manage to get it right. I was hoping to at least find some cute stuff for the boys, but once again, there was only cute little girl clothes and Mr. Ashley doesn't let me buy those.
So I dragged my ass over to the Gap like they knew I would. Miraculously, every single thing I tried on fit me perfectly, was comfortable, and flattering. What torture!! Usually I can't find anything and this time, when I am only looking for ONE pair of jeans, I find $260 worth of stuff that I can't live without.
I narrowed it down to one pair of jeans and two tops and as I was getting ready to check out, my mom offered to chip in $100 if I wanted the rest of it. She veiled it with "Well, I owe you $30 for something and I did buy your brother $70 worth of stuff the other day, so it's only fair", so that I wouldn't feel too bad taking her money, but really, I just really really wanted those clothes so I didn't hesitate.
It's been a while since I've put on an outfit and felt really good in it. I am in desperate need. So I got 4 shirts and 2 pairs of jeans. Yay! That's a big start. I love my new Long & Lean jeans. I have heard they were great before, but since I am neither long nor lean I figured it wouldn't apply to me. Turns out their ankle length fits me perfectly and their midrise tucks it all in.
Then I went to Costco and spent the equivalent of a car payment, but I'd like to not have to go to the grocery store ever again if possible. Shit, I just remembered I was supposed to start dieting tomorrow. Bleh. What excuse will I use to get out of it this time? Damn. I'm going to have to go to the grocery store. I'm also supposed to start exercising with a friend tomorrow morning. I don't really want to. little kid has a runny nose, maybe I can milk that one for a little while longer. After all, I do have pants that fit me now....