Monday, January 28, 2008

Sorry

I have lots of witty and brilliant things to say today, but I got caught in the quagmire of parenting forums today and wasted my whole morning.

Some people there are worried about little kid's access to staplers and whatnot, some are sick of hearing about me or announcing that they have no idea who I am on every other thread and one even feels sorry for my children because she doesn't believe people can have alter egos and just get offline and be a normal person and a perfect mother.

I have offered to post the number for FL CPS and my address and even have little kid waiting at the end of the driveway (it's a long driveway) so that I could get out for a French pedi before rush hour traffic gets bad. I have also promised any future children to the care of these concerned citizens. So far, no takers. Damn. My toes look really bad too, it's been 2 months.

As far as an alter ego...did I somehow give the impression that I am a normal person and perfect mother in real life? If so, someone has hacked my account and is spreading untruths and if you ever hear any such thing again, know that it is not me. An imposter! No, no. I am wacky and loud and talkative and inappropriate and laid back (read: lazy) and unconventional in real life too. Faaaaaaaar from perfect, but we do manage to get the job done around here, believe it or not.

So that's what I've been doing instead of being here with you all. Lame of me, huh? I know. It's a sickness. Let's try not to tell these people about the time little kid was on the back porch with a snake or the time he found that lighter, k? Thanks so much.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

hahah I am no the only one who thinks you are a sad waste of space!!

Jennifer said...

It is pretty funny how everyone has all the answers until you offer them a kid.

Melodie said...

I agree, Jennifer. That's why I am looking forward to that new reality show where they give a real live baby to high school couples who think they'd make great parents. Boy, are they in for it!

Deb said...

Is that all it takes? One phone call? Do you think they pick up dogs, too?

CM said...

Me too Melodie! I can't wait for that show!

Ha, and Ms. Troll, if you are going to comment please proof read!

Elyse said...

If you were really such an awful mother, you would know that in FL it's DCF, not CPS.

Tofu said...

OMG...you got me lol! : )

Tammy said...

Awww Ashley...what did I miss on that lovely hotbead that is Bargain Hunters, lol. Did the lynch mob come calling?

Girl, we all know the truth...you are a normal mom barely holding it together with your sanity intact......just like the rest of us.

Besides, those "perfect" moms and "perfect" kids are pretty damn boring and to be honest freak the hell out of me.

Gotta go, ds is taking a flying leap off the couch onto his sister who hasn't shut up all day....and people wonder why I come on the computer.....

Anonymous said...

All of those mommies need to get knocked off their high horses and stop saying you are a bad mommy for spending so much time on line because Hello they are obviously on there pretty often if they know all about how "imperfect" you are.

Heck you have gotten Big Kid to the big kid status and Little kid has managed pretty well so far, so I think you must be doing a pretty good job. I am just glad not everyone is afraid to say how damn hard and sometimes not fun it is to be a mom.

Joy

Traci said...

How does one know you spend all day on-line, blogging and stirring up drama on the BB unless she herself, is on-line following you around?
Where are her kids when she's reading/posting about you being such a sucky Mother?

I'm just sayin'

AFRo said...

I have yet to find the bargain boards. But dang I need to. Sounds like nothing but drama all the time. How did I miss that... I'm a babycenter fanatic... or at least I was when I had babies.

Teri said...

All I gotta say is the mommies that appear to be perfect are the ones that end up on the news. Enough said.

Donna said...

I haven't received many negative comments, but the few times I did, I deleted them. Don't feed the trolls. This is your spot on the Internet. Don't let the dogs mark it as THEIR territory.