I have lots of witty and brilliant things to say today, but I got caught in the quagmire of parenting forums today and wasted my whole morning.
Some people there are worried about little kid's access to staplers and whatnot, some are sick of hearing about me or announcing that they have no idea who I am on every other thread and one even feels sorry for my children because she doesn't believe people can have alter egos and just get offline and be a normal person and a perfect mother.
I have offered to post the number for FL CPS and my address and even have little kid waiting at the end of the driveway (it's a long driveway) so that I could get out for a French pedi before rush hour traffic gets bad. I have also promised any future children to the care of these concerned citizens. So far, no takers. Damn. My toes look really bad too, it's been 2 months.
As far as an alter ego...did I somehow give the impression that I am a normal person and perfect mother in real life? If so, someone has hacked my account and is spreading untruths and if you ever hear any such thing again, know that it is not me. An imposter! No, no. I am wacky and loud and talkative and inappropriate and laid back (read: lazy) and unconventional in real life too. Faaaaaaaar from perfect, but we do manage to get the job done around here, believe it or not.
So that's what I've been doing instead of being here with you all. Lame of me, huh? I know. It's a sickness. Let's try not to tell these people about the time little kid was on the back porch with a snake or the time he found that lighter, k? Thanks so much.