Saturday, January 26, 2008

New Pet

Guess what I got?? My very own troll!!!

Cool, huh?

I've always wanted one. We had a couple of shizzy trolls but I think this one is different, plus it promises to stick around!

I've always thought trolls were kind of interesting and even sort of cute in a repulsive, omg what a loser you are, kind of way. I remember when Monogram Momma had one and I was so jealous! She promised one day I'd have one of my own and I waited and I waited and finally I emailed her and told her that I think she had one because people are jealous of her and that maybe no one was jealous of me?

But now I got one!! .

How lucky is this? A troll during sweeps week. I didn't even have to adopt a kid.

I'm going to try to not make too big a deal over it, because clearly it seeks the fame and fortune that comes with leeching from my success, but I wanted to point it out in case you notice the increase in comments and because I know you all love stupid people.

So let's make Anonymous feel welcome! It's hard for trolls to make friends.

Edited to add: My troll is bossy and says dumb things like "True that". Who says that these days? Pathetic, ugly chicks that never had any friends in highschool and who are stuck in the late '90s, that's who. I'm so bummed. I kind of hoped I'd get an intelligent, witty troll although I know those are hard to come by.

Let's not name it just yet, this may not work out.

Edited Again To Add (Yes, even though my troll thinks people who edit blog posts are idiots): I got a lame one. I never thought I'd say it...but this troll makes me miss the Photowow troll. Selfish Attention loving weiner gobbler? Self centered piece of spooge? That shit was funny! They deserved more credit than I gave them.

Are there any funnier trolls out there that would like to step up? What should we do about the little shit that we've got now? Ignore it? Disable anonymous commenting? Play along and let it stay? Choose your own adventure, folks.

47 comments:

Anonymous said...

I repeat how old are you? You must be young, very insecure and have WAY TOO MUCH time on your hands. Sad.

Jennifer said...

What are you going to name her?

Jennifer said...

No, Gertie (I think Gertie is a good name for a 'tard), Ashley has a blog on her hands. An entertaining blog with many readers. The internet is full of blogs, and there may just be a perfect one out there for you.

Anonymous said...

true that, I am off to find one that doesn't suck ass.

Anonymous said...

only a tard would name her blog Mama Fidel.

Jennifer said...

OMG, you must be a genius to find my blog! You should give tutorials in being stupid, you're good at it.

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking name your Troll...
ZenAndreaPandamoniumUpButtCoconut

Buttercup said...

I notice said Troll is really concerned about your age? Why might that be. This is not Hogwarts!

I think your Troll has a MILF fetish!

Anonymous said...

Or troll PlaneZenPandaGirlRanter?

Anonymous said...

how could I have a MILF fetish, I have no idea what the asshat looks like. Oh yea and if you edit your blogs you are really a tard monkey.

Melodie said...

Seriously, what is up with this troll? It must be really insecure if it feels the need to not only claim your blog sucks, yet still read it religiously, and then try to insult your readers. Obviously one of those "try to make others feel as bad about themselves as I feel about myself" type of trolls.

Anonymous said...

it's only the comments I am reading Melodie dear. Vote for me, vote for me, vote for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I'm a fucktard.

Can't Wait Til Naptime said...

As a fat, ugly chick stuck in the 90's, I take offense at being associated the the troll!

Just kidding, I love your blog!
Good luck with the Bloggies!

Anonymous said...

so wait, I am fat, ugly and stuck in the 90's because I think your blog sucks ass. That just shows how young you are, my new BFF.

Ashley said...

No, you're fat, ugly and stuck in the 90's because you use retarded, outdated phrases like "true that" and because you have time for this.

Anonymous said...

the funny thing is you created a post trying to justify my posting. now THAT'S retarded. And I really think it's YOU who are fat and ugly, but probably not old enough to be stuck in the 90's

Ashley said...

No, I'm exploiting your stupidity to generate more attention and comments. Don't worry, I've done this before and it works. Even if you are boring and not even funny.

I'm not fat, not ugly and definitely old enough to be stuck in the 90s!

Anonymous said...

well I can't confirm that since you are too afraid to put a profile picture on there, and pretty much the only ones commenting are you and I.

You really are stupid, aren't you?

Anonymous said...

at least the glorious Ashley allows for (almost?) any post. Unlike others that allow a post to go through when they like it.

Ashley said...

No, just bored.

Personally, I think it's more stupid to post anonymous, stupid comments on someone's blog than to hang out on your own blog and moderate anonymous, stupid comments, but I'm thinking that deep down you know that I'm way, way cooler and better liked than you will ever be and that's why we are here.

Of course you won't publicly admit it, but I'll say it for you.

Besides, didn't you see in my sidebar that I love stupid shit like this? It's one of my weaknesses...some people have soaps, I have stupid people.

lyndakay916 said...

Ashley-can you please ask your troll to try to be a little more interesting? She's BOR-ING..she just comes off as bitter & jealous & she's not even witty. PLEASE can we trade her in for a better one? PLEEEASE????
P.S. you know she's an ugly troll too..you can tell- no one that bitter is cute. She was THAT girl in high school, too...she knows this & so do we :)

lyndakay916 said...

P.S. Seriously though- can we trade her in for a turtle or a gold fish? They are way more entertaining....

lyndakay916 said...

P.P.S. Just for the record- Ashleys hot. Shes got beautiful curly long blond hair, big blue eyes & great boobs. Stop being a hater just cause you're ugly.. don't worry, someone WILL eventually get drunk enough to do you, and take away a layer of that bitter shell...until he looks into your eyes & says "now get the fuck out of my car you ugly skank"

Anonymous said...

The other troll was way funnier. I mean, selfish attention-loving wiener gobbler? That's a troll with some creativity and originality. This one, not so much.

Rock on Ashley, I voted again today!

M

Stacy said...

What a loser that person is. Why would they waste their time writing crap about you. They obviously need to get a life. Freak.

Jennifer said...

Yeah, I think I was presumptuous in naming your troll. I was hoping things would work out and stay interesting, but she seems to have blown the proverbial wad already.

Carol (Maker Of The Weiner Gobbler Cards) said...

'well I can't confirm that since you are too afraid to put a profile picture on there'

I can't believe how funny that is.... it's like they're trying to pull psychology that works on 4-year-olds.

Brilliant!

Let her stay, Ashley... it's way too much fun.

Anonymous said...

I think trolls are like ferrets. You think they'd be cute and fun to own as a pet, but then you get one and realize that they shit all over the place, and they stink, and they'll scratch you and bite you at the drop of a hat and then you're stuck trying to pawn your ugly, stinky ass pest onto another unsuspecting victim.

I'm also a little disappointed in the caliber of this troll. I think you can do better. I vote that we keep looking.

Anonymous said...

Clearly, this troll, who is insinuating that Ashley must be young (as if that's an insult), is much older and much, much more mature because she chooses to take the high road and abstain from such juvenile name-calling and teenage cattiness... Oh wait, she's not though. And to say that Ashley's afraid to post a picture? What's this troll's name again? Right... Anonymous. Well, I for one think Anonymous is an Idiot.

I love to make fun of stupid people, but this is much too easy.

Ava

Anonymous said...

I think the troll was a good idea...providing some nice action. However, I do think you can attract better...maybe keep this one till you hook a better one.

Love the blog

Dawn

Jamie said...

What a loser troll. Juice it up a little, will ya? Rock on, Ashley.

Traci said...

I was going to say get rid of it... but it's kind of growing on me like some nasty foot fungus.
You hate it, but love that it's there to give you something to do..

Stick around ugly troll.. maybe you'll learn something and gain a little witt! (is it two t's?)

CM said...

I wish the old Photowow troll would come back. She was too funny! However, I think any troll is good for ratings! Perfect timing Ms. Troll!

CM said...

I wish the old Photowow troll would come back. She was too funny! However, I think any troll is good for ratings! Perfect timing Ms. Troll!

Kathie said...

Your very own troll! You can hug it, and love it, and call it George! And if it gets more creative then it gets another name. These generic personal attacks are boring - you have to give her something that rivals weiner gobbler if you really want anyone to lurve you, trollio.

Maggie said...

If you ignore a troll it will go away. They feed on feedback.

Deb said...

Love the "way too much time on your hands" bit from the troll. Pot... kettle. Kettle... pot.

I love this, although I do miss the other troll who was MUCH funnier.

lyndakay916 said...

SURVEY SAYS: dump your troll- too lame to waste any more time on...NOW BACK TO ASHLEY!!

~Gretchen~ said...

wait? are we supposed to be talking about ashley AGAIN. In the words of Dixie: Dammit.

Teri said...

This is, hands down, the best damn blog on the whole freaking internet! You are funny and witty and awesome. Thanks for being the bright spot in my day and giving me a place to laugh my *ss off

P.S. You troll is quite lovely.
Is she 12 or 13?

AFRo said...

Wow... look how well having a troll worked out for you!!! 39 comments and counting. What a dumbass...

Donella said...

Just stumbled upon the blog today. You are, as the others said, funny and witty.

And weiner-gobbler? That is just PRICELESS. That troll had some creativity. Those shoes are too big for this troll to fill.

Loving the blog and ya know what? I did vote for you. That is saying something because I'm usually way too self involved (or lazy, depending on the mood) to do such things.

SHELLEY said...

i sound so dumb, but what is a troll?

Anonymous said...

Note to the Troll:

Having a discussion with a troll, or especially arguing with a troll gives the troll what it wants, which is attention. You are obviously a bitter sad person who can't stand the thought of someone being funnier, smarter, and DAMN sure better looking. I don't have to see you to know that. Your personality shines through and you are butt ass ugly.

Conversing with a troll is like teaching a pig to sing. It won't work, it will frustrate the teacher, and finally make the pig mad.

Be gone you stupid pig. I don't like your song anyway. It's redundant and it means nothing.

Sincerely,

Friend to the Weiner Gobbler.

Kate said...

Ok - first off, if you are going to use outdated phrases, make sure they are correct. I don't believe those who used the phrase when it was cool said: True That. It is my understanding that the correct usage of said outdated phrase is: True Dat. Secondly, if you are going to make fun of someone, you probably shouldn't use their own phrases to do it. I do believe that Asshat and Fucktard are phrases that Ashley has used repeatedly in this blog. Try some new ones like: Anal Drip, Cum Wad, Ass Munch, Fuck Monkey. Be Original, dear Twat Fart, it will make you much more entertaining.

Disclaimer: the above mentioned phrases are not to be taken as phrases the Munchhole can use. They are property of my demented mind and can only be used by those who can string together a coherent thought that somewhat resembles humor.

Kate said...

PS: you think after that, I might get one of my own? I did ask Santa for one for Christmas. It would be so Ghetto Fabulous!

fsutrill said...

Arguing with a troll on the internet is like the special olympics. Even if you win, you're still retarded....

:-)