Thursday, January 24, 2008

Sweeps Week

Everyone will be happy to hear that Big Kid has no cavities. This is because I'm such a good mom.

Actually, it's probably because he had really spaced out baby teeth (the cornditos...they're growing together now, I was sweatin' it though). Anyway, the dentist said that it is actually a good thing. He was a really good boy for the x-rays and cleaning, being the people pleaser that he is.

little kid spent his time using a gigantic toothbrush to brush the teeth of various stuffed animals (all of the stuffed animals had chompers, it was pretty funny) and to hit and poke Big Kid while he was in the chair.

They have all of the chairs for the cleanings lined up in a row and the boy next to Big Kid was about 15. little kid was so very interested in his dirty, scuffed up skateboarding shoes with the fat laces that he had to run over and sneak a peek about 12 different times. I would guess that it would be a little awkward to be getting your teeth cleaned while a small person stood at your shoes with a gigantic toothbrush and stared at you, so I tried to detain him but he's a slippery little sucker.

Afterwards, we ran by Joann's to pick up supplies for the Valentine's playdate. Remember how my inspiration for the party was the photo stamps that I won't end up using since they're being passed out at school? Remember how my inspiration for the invites was the itty bitty envelopes? Yeah, well those envelopes cost $8. Now that it is all said and done...I have spent a ridiculous amount of money on invites for a pre-k playdate. I am such a freak.

Then my mom and I got brave (my mom is a total adventurer, always talking me into nutty stuff) and decided to take the kids to a matinee. Know what movie will NOT be receiving an Academy Award this year?

Alvin & the Chipmunks.

I didn't think it would be the next Pulp Fiction or anything. But you're talking to someone who will happily watch Hoodwinked or Chicken Little 400 times. I do kid's movies. I LMAO at Shrek, that fat, ugly bastard. This was just queer. Big Kid loved it though and was fascinated to hear that mommy and daddy both used to watch Alvin & the Chipmunks and that I remember Catfish and I singing to their Christmas song as kids. She had the record.

What was truly fascinating is that little kid was awake for half of the movie and he behaved. I'm dead serious, he sat there quietly. Didn't try to escape, hurt himself or others, torture me, screech, nada. It really seemed like he was watching it. That was really nice because I was REALLY tired today and not in the mood for a bunch of b.s.

So that was my day.

I feel kind of weird posting it for some reason. All of a sudden, there are a lot of you here from the Bloggies. It's kind of like everyone's standing around staring at me, wondering what I'll say next...and all my normal boring life stuff doesn't seem as funny, although I know for some reason it usually amuses you all. That time I got poop thrown at me got a huDge reaction. Bitches.

It's like sweeps week or something. I need some sort of hook or angle to work. You know, like how I sent Big Kid to the Temple school for the material I knew it would bring us. Did I tell you all about the time I almost adopted that 4 year old? I didn't want to get you all excited, and of course there was more to it than just entertaining you all, but it would've made for quite the storyline. We can always use more characters and interesting situations.

I'll think on it. Maybe I could be a foster parent until the 31st? That's when the contest ends, you are voting right? RIGHT?

Oooooh, I could pick up a drug habit and go on a wild and crazy binge. Just for you all. In the name of entertainment. That sounds like more fun.

I don't know, I'm just throwing stuff out there. Let's continue to think on it. Nothing that would suck like getting pregnant and having morning sickness and then a kid to deal with. Or Photowow. Or Master Cleanse. Good God, none of those things. I love you all...but not that much.


Maggie said...

there's lots of humor potential in a life with 2 kids and assorted pets (loved the fat dog post!). If that's not enough for folks, well f%&*'em.

~Gretchen~ said...

i have been accused more than once of only adopting dixie for the blog material she provides.

it isnt too bad of a ploy, really.

Anonymous said...

OH good God, I laughed out loud about LK lurking at the foot of some strangers feet with a HUGE toothbrush....ahhh toooo funny. Very Stephen King.