Friday, March 7, 2008

Dear Chore Whore,

Is it wrong to trade sexual favors for chores I don't want to do? Example...the hubby washes the dog(which I hate doing) for a BJ. Does that make me in essence a true Chore Whore or just a whore in general?

Just curious,

I'm glad you asked, Ashley!

Trading sexual favors for chores totally makes you a whore...a really smart one!!

So of course it's okay. It is also quite effective. Everyone in the scenario you mentioned above benefits, including the dog. How could anyone say that's wrong?

Now before everyone gets all confused again...this is another Ashley. Not Me. There was some confusion when she started commenting on whether or not it was me. First of all people, would I be queer enough to comment on my own blog as if I was someone else? And if I were, wouldn't there be a lot more comments?

However, I did go check her blog just to make sure it wasn't me. I was caught off guard because our similarities don't end at the name Ashley...she's also pretty, funny, a good writer and get this...wait for it...her son's name is Cash.

REMEMBER when I told you all if I was cursed with a 3rd son I was naming him Cash and anyone that didn't like it could kiss my ass? That I knew people would roll their eyes and say it's a drug dealer's kid's name until they met him and saw how amazingly handsome he was and how well the name fit him and what a strong, powerful name it is? And how when he's a grown up and people ask him who to make the check out to, he can say, "My friends call me Cash"? Remember?

And here's a smart, pretty, blogging Ashley with a Cash. Coincidence?

I think not.

Yours Truly,


Anonymous said...

What are LK and BK's real names?

Ashley said...

Dear Chore Whore,
Thanks for the answer. My conscience is now clean. And yes I have gotten some strange you must be ON drugs type glances when people ask the kid's name. But it works. The bun in the oven is due in May and will be named Stella. Whatcha think about that?


Unknown said...

I heart Stella! That is precious!!

Anonymous, Mr. Ashley doesn't want me to say. Those are his only rules, not to use his or the kids names, try to be vague about jobs and locations, no photos of him or I.

Since I whore out our kids for the entertainment of my readers, I let him have those few rules. If it was up to him there wouldn't be pictures of the boys either, but it was already too late by the time he thought of that one.

My kids both have very Abercrombie and Fitch-ish type names. Spelled correctly. Masculine. Probably near the middle and bottom of the top 100 list of baby names, although I haven't checked this year.

Cash would be pretty out there for us but would sound amazing with our last name and really good with our boys' names and I think Mr. Ashley would go for it. (although the plan is no 3rd kid, remember that self.)

The Nester said...

Dear Ashley,

are you like the most popular blog in the universe? my sitemeter is going crazy! thanks to you and that baby boards forum thingy. wow, you've got the power! Thanks for sharing the love!

Unknown said...

I am kind of a big deal! :-)

I'm going to make you famous, it's good to be my girl crush. In return, you just have to help me through the whole mistreatment thing and keep me motivated. It might not be as easy as it sounds.

A lot of people are about to love you, just remember who loves you best ;-)

Anonymous said...

I traded my husband a BJ for Monopoly money so I could buy the Boardwalk!! And I have traded chores. You are totally not a whore - bc if you are that means I totally am too!

jenn said...

I thought you'd gone schizo control freak on us, writing question & answer. Or that maybe you were already embracing the Fancy Drink portion of the day...which I am, so - hey - no judgment here.

Anonymous said...

OH, I almost forgot. I heard today that Matthew McConaughey's girlfriend is having a boy, he wants to name it after his favorite beer. (They didn't mention what it was) His nephew's name is Miller Lyte McConauhey. Sorry if this is old news.


Anonymous said...

You can't have the nester-I WANT HER! I really want that tassel with the pear. Besides-I have three boys and she has three boys so we could have evenly matched playdates. (Of course-we would let you come, too.)

Anonymous said...

To Ashley and Ashley... call me naive, but I thought exchanging various sexual services for chores/housewares/clothing/shoes/money/etc... was just par for the course in any healthy marriage.
You know, for a month's worth, forget chores... I got a new lap top. Worth every trick- I mean, precious encounter.

Ashley said...

Oh god. I NEEEEED a new laptop. But I think you're right. Although the only ever thing I've traded favors for with the hubby was sushi money. I wanted sushi badly. I'll have to up the ante now that I know a laptop can be had.

Anonymous said...

Well, thank god it's okay... I've been doing it for years. Although, I can't believe The Mister is still going for it. Poor guy. It takes some major guilt for me to actually pay up. Oh gooood, I hate doing it.... Ack.

Joy said...

I am glad you have said it is ok, I have be whoring myself out to hubs for many years and for many different things from a nice dinner at Bonefish Grill or getting him to feed the dogs, so I didn't have to go out in the cold.

Anonymous said...

hmmm, you ladies are seriously on to something. that should really work around here too, b/c poor thing never gets any. no wonder other hubbies seem to help out more. bear (bare?) with me, i'm a little slow.