Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The Case of the Hurt Cheek

So last night I'm sitting here relaxing, everyone else in bed, when Big Kid starts crying and kicking around. I go in there and he tells me his cheek hurts and I sort of rolled my eyes and patted him on the head and came back out here.

He starts crying again, so I go back in, hold him, stroke his hair, sing a little, he seemed asleep so I get up to leave and he starts quietly sobbing about how much his cheek hurts. Your head? No. Your teeth? No. Your ear? No. Your gums? No. My teek.

This happens several times before I realize it isn't going away, so I carried him into our room so Mr. Ashley could deal with it.

As I'm going to bed, he's carrying on again about how much it hurts, so we gave him some Motrin.

All night long he kicked, tossed, cried, sobbed, moaned and rolled around about how he hurt. He also started saying his ear was wet, so we were thinking maybe it was an earache? He insists not.

Sadly, today was Purim at school. For lack of a better way to describe it, it's Jewish Halloween. A whole big deal. They were supposed to come in costume and do all of this fun stuff. Julia was going to be a princess, Vivian was going to be a fairy and Big Kid forced me to hastily assemble a fireman's costume because he was insistent that he could be nothing else.

I was excited about him having St. Patty's Day, Purim and Easter all in one week and was looking forward to seeing him dressed up with his friends. But after our sleepless night and his ailing cheek, we didn't think we could send him.

He hasn't complained much about his cheek today but he is pale and lethargic. When Big Kid is sick, it is written all over his gray, pink eyed, sad little face. What the hell is wrong with him though?

I can't ask his pediatrician because we are unfortunately involved in a malpractice case against him and I haven't found a new one yet and I'm just not sure a hurt cheek that comes and goes is worth the trouble.

(I know you're now dying of curiosity about the malpractice case but I cannot write about it. We are SO not the suing type but have a very valid case of negligence that resulted in a serious and lifelong issue for one of our children...don't worry, nothing that will mar their intelligence or beauty, but still. Don't fuck up my kids. And I'm sorry I can't share more than that with you all.)

I know I could take him to Urgent Care, but I'm really hoping not to reinfect all of us with the flu in order to find out what his deal is.

So he's home sick again today and the Jews are taking Friday and next week off (Purim AND Easter break? Call it Spring Break if you want but we're onto this double dipping thing. They also pulled Teacher Appreciation day a few weeks it on Purim or Spring Break, people.) so I'm in for the long haul here.

The poor kid is jonesing for some Baby Einstein movies in a major way, so I'm about to take him to the library. I'm not sure if I've been over that with you all...Big Kid is a Baby Einstein addict. He knows every scene of every movie...and would love to give you the play by play. He also knows every instrument in an orchestra, a ton of sign language and all the other shit they teach you.

Mr. Ashley got sick of it and tried to shame him a little with the whole "baby movie" thing, but it was starting to become an issue. Like now that it was "wrong" it was this dirty little desire, so I said no more of that and we have been tolerating this quirk of his without a word.

It is ANNOYING AS SHIT. Oh my God do I want to find whoever put these movies together and kick them in the teeth for being so irritating and having such tinny, crapola music. Julie Eisner Clark. You'd better watch out for me, lady.

So that's what the next few weeks are looking like for me. Extra whining, extra butt wiping and extra baby movies.

And little kid does not and will not watch baby movies, lest Big Kid tells you otherwise, so don't think this means he's being entertained or distracted in any way, shape or form. Now I just have to listen to that as a soundtrack, paired with Big Kid's play by play, while I keep him from killing himself all day.

To think Spring Break used to be fun??


Anonymous said...

I have an Einstein addict on my hands too. I feel for ya.

Anonymous said...

By the way, did you see the story of the lady that got served a fast food burger lace with crack? It was on CNN headline news a minute ago....reminded me of your poisoned coke a while back.

Maddness of Me said...

I have one word for you. Xanax.

Anonymous said...

glad my 4y/o isn't the only BE addict... and I too tried the "baby movie" tactic with him. He didn't care. I hate those damn movies.....

so tired said...

Can you take BK to the dentist????

I'm assuming you looked inside his mouth. My tense little guys grinds his teeth and sometimes chews on the inside of his cheek. This sometimes leads to a hurt cheek..... ????

Slacker Mama said...

Bee Movie is out on DVD this week. Any chance he'd be interested in that?

I read somewhere that kids have a hard time localizing their they'll pull on their ears when they are teething because it's in the general vicinity of where the pain is. Maybe it is an ear infection?

clemsongirlandthecoach said...

Teeth? Sinuses? Not sure what it could be. My cheek hurts sometimes before I get pinkeye. Wish I could diagnose it for you.

Anonymous said...

BK sounds like my friend's 8y.o. He was complaining that his cheek hurt and after a couple of days he had a bump that you couldn't really see, but you could feel it on the outside of his cheek. Because her husband battled cancer some years back (and actually had to have his leg removed), that was her first thought. It wasn't!! It was just a cyst-like thing that eventually went away on its own. Maybe BK is so grey and lethargic just from the pain of it. I know her guy was in a lot of pain. Just a thought...

Things I May Regret Writing said...

Now you tell me! I *just* bought my child's first Baby Einstein videos, in anticipation of a long flight. I thought they were supposed to be awesome and not annoying?

Melodie said...

Poor BK! I hope he feels better soon. If you ever figure out the mystery cause of the hurt cheek, you'll have to let us know.

Anonymous said...

Just a suggestion. Perhaps its his sinuses, the beginning of a sinus infection or something? When I have sinus problems, I tend to have a tenderness in my face. Hope he feels better soon though - nothing is more frustrating than a sick child... especially one that you can't seem to help.

Mad About Plaid Girl said...

Back off on the Baby Einstein--it may make him the genius that he's going to be. Plus, once my kid got over Baby Einstein he went to Elmo. We went from lovely classical music to LALALALALAL ELMO'S WORLD.......ahhhhhhhh@!

Joy said...

Springbreak-to think I used to go to the lake for the weekend and stay drunk the entire time, now it is off to the aquarium and some fun family time with no alchol in sight:(

Sorry about BK's hurt cheek and oh the malpractice thing. I hope when you win and make millions you will share the wealth with all of us loyal readers.