Thursday, March 20, 2008

On the flipside

as we all know, I get some amazing comments.

I have to say that this little project has been life changing.

People sometimes say, "I couldn't put myself out there like that.", "You're obviously brave to be so candid about your life so publicly", and "I'm not an extrovert like you".

Believe it or not, in real life I'm not an extrovert either. Now, if we're in a classroom or meeting I will talk too much and try to steal the show, but I just like to talk and it is hard to be quiet when you know everything. In general, I'm not seeking out the attention. I'd rather be the sidekick.

Also, there was nothing brave about this venture...I had no plans on sharing our lives with hundreds of thousands of people. I was just starting a fun shopping blog for my Chaws and Babycenter bitches. It veered off course because I wanted to vent and next thing I know, my kids are semi-celebrities and my family has become something of a reality show online.

Sometimes it is completely overwhelming and unbelievable and sometimes I feel like I've woken up to find myself on stage blinded by a spotlight with nothing to say. It is really weird if I think about it.

HOWEVER, it is also amazing. I cannot even tell you what it means to me to have so many people that do care about us. Seriously, you have no idea how many of you have left comments that have totally turned my day around. Being able to write, and to entertain, validates me in a way and reinforces that there is still a ME and that I'm good for more than reaching the juice boxes on the top shelf of the pantry.

Hearing from women that feel the same way or are living a similar life makes me feel normal. And then to hear that I make those women feel better, makes me feel really good.

After my anti-anxiety post, I got an email from someone who thought she needed something but was hesitant to be "that person". We wrote back and forth and she decided to go to her doctor and it made me really happy that something I wrote (and hesitated to write, because I was embarrassed about needing help too) helped at least one person not feel bad about things.

Not long ago, I got a fan letter from a drunken college girl. Whose last fan letter was to Jonathan Taylor Thomas. I've got to say, aside from being tickled that non-parents enjoy the closet too, my hope for the future was lifted by her impeccable spelling and grammar, even after a full night of two for one drinks.

I guess what I'm saying is that you all do more for me than you even know. Your comments entertain me, inspire me, normalize me and motivate me. I sincerely feel like I am writing to a crowd of my friends on most days and although I've never "spoken" to some of my regular commenters outside of the comment box...I do feel like they are true friends of mine.

You guys really are what keeps the closet going, whether you know it or not. So thanks for the comments and the friendship, and keep reading!

15 comments:

Shannie said...

I heart you, Ashley! You are definitely one of the main inspirations for my blog. And, I read you throughout the day. If I don't read, I feel as if I've missed out on talking to a friend. And, you help me feel normal. xoxoxo

LuvMyGirlz80 said...

Wow. Not only do we make *you* feel normal - you make *us* feel normal. I feel like I know your family; not in a stalker-ish kind of way, but anyway. Keep up your good work Ashley!

jenn said...

Awwww....shucks.

I think I've said this before, but before I read your blog I never really left comments on the blogs I read. It never really occurred to me that getting comments was important for the blog writer. (For a smart chick, I can be incredible dense...) So, thanks for opening my eyes to that one.

You rock, Ashley...thanks for keeping us all on this side of crazy! (And, no, I'm not really sure which side that is).

Amy said...

You rock, babe!

Ashley said...

Your honestness is what keeps me coming back. Reading your blog feels like having a conversation with an old friend, and a gal really needs that after being home all day with the kiddos.

And your just fucking hilarious and that never hurts.

Kate said...

I do comment now and again, but please don't publish this one. The purpose of this submission is to connect with you, to thank you.

I have a great husband and family, but have really lost touch with my few close friends. Life changes, we grow up and drift apart, but their absence leaves me lonely. My social anxiety assures that attempts at making new friends are awkward at best.

By reading your editorialized comments on yourself, I feel less alienated and am more forgiving of my own quirks. This may sound minimal, but it is a weight slowly lifting off my shoulders. I feel like I have an accquaintance, or at least someone I can relate to.

Thank you for being so fearless in sharing yourself. You have helped me and I am so appreciative. I look forward to commenting with increased frequency so I may return the favor.

Alysia said...

You make me feel normal. And I have such a sarcastic sense of humor and people often think I'm being mean so I like to go to a place where sarcasm is okay and funny, the way it is supposed to be.

And you are totally good for more than reaching the juice boxes on the top shelf. You also give lollipops to your kids.

GoodThingsComeInThrees said...

ITA with Shannie, after being a sometimes SAHM (It comes and goes... sometimes I need a break!)it's still 'new' and a lot of the time I feel like I'm must be the only mom on the net while avoiding laundry and letting my LK sabotages my house/pets after trying to stop her all day. After reading your blog (which I do every single day, I've even read some of it to my DH) I feel a little more normal, and I can hear myself saying so many of the things you say, which is why you blog is so hilarious to me (because I myself IRL am hilarious, despite popular belief)

So thanks for sharing you blog, I'm so glad I clicked on the link for the bloggies of the BH board forever ago!

Jenn

Kelly said...

Ashley - I just thought I would let you know that I am a daily reader of your blog. I have only left comments once or twice...but I'm here everyday. :)

jennyandcompany said...

Now you have me all teary eyed :P

I'm totally the same way about talking too much, but really not wanting to be the star, it doesn't make much sense, but it's true! I just like to share what I know with people! I think it comes from having a Montessori background, when you mastered something it was your job to teach someone else - wonderful concept IMO.

I also appreciate reading about someone who is not the *perfect* mom, or at least not pretending to be. It's refreshing to know that I'm not a horrible person for just wanting to do nothing all day every once in while, saying screw the housework!

ok, I'm talking too much again.

Joy said...

Oh girl you know we all love you. I really do feel like I know you, even if my hubby thinks I am a total crazy lady for checking in with you multiple times a day on most days.

I am glad you are so honest and really tell it like it is.

Just last night in bed I made referance to the "Chore Whore" and how she said what I did yesterday was ok. I told him if he would feed the outside dogs after he got home from work I would make it worth his while:) and I was a good wife and made good on my promise.

AFRo said...

I think you'll forever be my girl crush. I've read hundreds of blogs written by mommies and crazy bitches...but none compare to you. You're my one and only fave.

Anonymous said...

Every time I read you I think I couldn't love you more, but there you go and do it and make me love your candidness more than the day before. You keep us going, laughing, and feeling human about the trials and tribulations of a SAHM!! Hats off to you!!

Tammy said...

I love your blog and you too-not in a weird way, of course.

I've never been a blog reader- I can honestly say that the "closet" is the first I've read and therefore the first I've followed but I keep coming back.

You do feel like an old friend I can relate to in so many ways. You make me laugh, cry and in many ways keep me sane.

Thanks for the great blog. :-)

Mamalicious said...

Ashley, I couldn't stop reading if I wanted to! I lurve you that much.

You complete me :)
Holly