Sunday, March 2, 2008

Watching Porn With Ashley

Ashley: Oh God...yeah, right.

I mean come on. It just wouldn't happen that way. I'm not looking for plot, just a shred of believability...k, I'm done. I'm watching now.

(silence)

Why can't everyone just be naked? What is with the accessories? Do guys secretly have accessory fetishes us chicks don't know about?

Sorry, it's just distracting....like, good thing she has that scarf on. Thank God for that belt.

Oh yuck. He is just grody. Is there some sort of shortage of decent looking men willing to do porn? Seriously, maybe I need to open up a porn talent agency, because I wouldn't think it would be hard to recruit for. I'm not needing Brad Pitt, but dude, meet wax. Lose the mustache. Introduce your nads to some Nads.

And what is with her hair? She's got to be making halfway decent money for this. Skip the next trip to the meth dealer and splurge on some more peroxide.

What?

Roots aren't sexy, they're just not.

Oh, he is not going to leave his socks on...please tell me he's not. NOOOO. Taking the shorts off OVER the socks and shoes? Who leaves their sneakers on? (LFAO) Oh, I just hate when they do that. I just can't see anything but the Reeboks.

Holy Moth...what is he going to do with all that? I mean yeah, size matters, but after a certain point...what's going to happen with the rest?

Ow.

Okay, no really...now I'm watching. No more talking, but the shoe thing? Anyone would've mentioned that, it IS distracting.

Okay. Starting now.

Ew.

Okay, now.

14 comments:

Cake said...

SEE? THAT is why I don't watch porn!!!!!

Give me the R rated soft core stuff in a good romance movie any day over that Tube Sock shit!

Shannie said...

LMAO, Cake & Ashley! I looove some porn. But, I just fast forward to the good stuff. I mean, like the dirty, raunchy nasty good stuff. I'm totally not a Playboy girl. Bring on the Hustler, baby. Ohhhhh yeeeeaaaaahhh.....

Jamie said...

LMFAO :) I can only agree with you...

perfect just like mommy said...

What a coincidence. I was just watching porn too. And yeah, it was disappointing.

PinkyTink said...

LMAO!!
That was great! Exactly how I've felt and never managed to get it across...lol! DH is giving me the "wth are you snorting about" eyeballs now...

Anonymous said...

OMG, that is so funny. It drives DH nuts when I do the commentary.

Mom Of 3 said...

LMAO! YOu are so funny! What about the great music they always have in them?!?!? LOL

Snooty Primadona said...

I think that the kinds of guys who are in those films have all kinds of weirdo fetishes I'd rather not swallow, thank you!

Great post!

Jacqueline said...

And the costumes are always the best... they dig up the corniest shit!

Southern Fried Girl said...

Can't.
Stop.
Laughing.

Madden said...

That is why I like guy on guy porn. They dress better.

Anonymous said...

You totally crack me up. I have always wondered about the accessories, too. But let's put one more sexy thought in your mind. If they keep the shoes and socks on just imagine how gross those feet are. I don't know if I can ever watch porn again. Yuck.

stuck-in-a-good-way

Traci said...

LMAO!
And they're all the same..

Joy said...

LMAO; my hubs hates it when I make comments on the porn. I get distracted easily. I just hate when he talks me into buying the PPV and it sucks! Leave out the cheesy plots and I agree Please take off the shoes.

Like I said in my comment on the sob it up saturday, you really have a way with words no matter what the topic is.