Monday, April 7, 2008

Because we all love dumb people

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You know, I guess when you have 40,000 unique visitors per month, you're bound to get some assholes.

Almost always anonymous. Someone suggested disabling anonymous commenting, not publishing the drivel, and/or not paying it any attention...but what fun is that?

We all love dumb people. Now that I've forbidden Britney talk in the closet, how else would we have easy access to so many to amuse us?

Also, I would deal with the anonyholes in the comments section themselves, but so many of you don't read the good stuff and I'd hate for you to miss it.

So here's our "Fucktard of the Week" (and it could be the same as our Charleton Heston/NRA loving moron, they aren't worth the effort of research):

What Planet Are You From, Ashley - Uracist?

You should get out a little and do some real traveling to see the world from a more realistic perspective - one in which racial/ethnic/ageist/political slurs aren't really smiled upon anymore. Oh, and you certainly must have little retard and big retard evaluated. Seriously.


Well, my racial/ethnic/ageist/political slurs have gotten me close to 300,000 readers and a Bloggie nomination. And I know my little retards are geniuses, I don't need an evaluation to tell me that. True that little kid is an Evil Genius, but a genius all the same.

Are you sad because your mom was too busy giving blow jobs for crack to have you evaluated? You deserved better, if someone had caught your issues sooner you might have had a chance at a normal life and friends.

Oh and the traveling thing? Laughable. I can promise that I have traveled more than your sheltered, "let me leave hateful anonymous comments on a stranger's blog because I have nothing better to do" self.

I can say with absolute certainty that America has a bigger stick up its bum than many countries. I am aware that we are now forbidden to even acknowledge any differences in race, culture, physical appearance, mental capacity, age, lifestyle choice, political affiliation, religious beliefs, and/or anything that makes us different from one another, without some idiot taking it upon themselves to save the world by attempting to censor public observations of differences between human beings.

And I can prove, through numbers on my statcounter, that people like to make fun of all of that politically correct bullshit.

So go back to your lonely little world and try to jam your head further up your own ass.

Might I recommend some lube from Too Timid to help you in that endeavor?

30 comments:

SuzyQ said...

Wonderful counter response - bravo! ;)

GoodThingsComeInThrees said...

Wow... it's pretty sad when someone needs to come and attach someone on their own PERSONAL blog. Last time I checked there wasn't a law insisting people be PC in the privacy of their own home/blog/whatever. Whatever. People are ass hats. And attacking someone's kids? That's just fucking retarded in itself... maybe someone should invest less time in trolling blogs and more time having their head examined to find out what's missing.

Sorry these fucktards find their way to your blog.

Jenn

Life, Love & Lola said...

These Anonymous Fucktards are annoying! Why are they stalking you! I'm guessing they're jealous of how popular you are in the blog world and know that the only way they will be acknowledged is by commenting on your blog.

Get a life fucktards!

Glad your sale was a success!

Catfish said...

Lube may be the ticket!

Kathy said...

It amazes me how awful people can be to eachother when behind the safety of our computers...and/or cars for that matter. Cindy Lauper was right...true colors certainly are shining through...on the internet...I think that's what that song was about...

MY head, on the otherhand, actually IS up my ass...but that really has nothing to do with this. ;)

Madden said...

I don't know what it is about really lonely and sad people that makes them use the Internet as a cover to lash out at people they don't even know or have a clue about.

What did these people do before the Internet?

Probably watched kiddie porn.

FunnyGal KAT said...

"What Planet Are You From, Ashley - Uracist?"

Are you kidding?!? Or are you in third grade? Either way, definitely my favorite part of the comment.

And I like how you handle the trolls, Ashley. Way better to bring them out into the light than letting them fester in your comments section. If we're lucky, they're like Gremlins and will run away from the light.

pb&jtimes3 said...

Everytime you say "fucktard" I crack up. Is this a record?? 4 times in one post!! I'm pissing my pants.

KatieGirlBlue said...

Ha! An Evil Genius - the son that Dr. Evil never had. (Because as you'll remember, Scott was a great disappointment.)


You're awesome for taking this anonymonster to task. And for laughing about it.

Tiffany said...

You know I have to say that it's not very nice of people to attack other people's children. It's one thing to throw mud at adults but geez people leave the kiddos out of it. Good job telling them like it is Ashley!

Amy said...

You.are.awesome.

Alysia said...

You go Ashley! Tell 'em. I hate when they don't even have the balls to show who they really are. Anonymous my ass. Grow a pair, loser!

slacker mama said...

I seriously *do not* understand why someone would read a blog that they clearly do not enjoy. And then, to get all riled up about it. And then to yell at you for being insensitive but then try to insinuate that your children are not right.

But...at least I got a few good laughs from reading your response.

Jenny said...

I needed a laugh today, and you gave it to me! I'm having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Monday and your response just made my day. I also found my new favorite word, thanks to you!

Cake said...

Just make sure they use your promo code when they order the shitloads of lube they surely need.

Mel said...

Going after kids...man that is LOW. Anonymously. Yeah, really BRAVE. What is wrong with people these days?

Cate said...

I told you you were prejudice against the stoopid people....and you just proved me right!!!
You are my hero.

Dana said...

Ditto to Slacker Mama. How exactly does calling the kids retards make this asswipe such a superior person?

LJ said...

You rock, Ashley.

What an asshole.

Melodie said...

They NEVER have the balls to stand behind their words, do they? Little sissy-bitch is what s/he is.

Tammy said...

Love the your response...funny and brilliant at the same time. Thanks for a great laugh.

To the new troll(s)-a word of warning- you are so fucking with the wrong girl....

Leah said...

Personally, I think your blunt honesty is refreshing! You say what other people are afraid to say and I love it!!

Deb said...

I have to give it (Trolly Trollerson) credit for "Uracist". That's some funny shit.

Joy said...

Seriously how could some one not think you are a blog goddess. I am so glad that I found you and have been happily in the closet with you since that first day.

I just think they sit at home trolling thru boards and blogs throwing out rude comments cause they have no real life of their own.

BTW this babysitting job I mentioned last week is really interfering with my closet time. It is 9pm and it is the first time I have checked/stalked the closet today. Glad it was a slow day, not sure what I will do if you have another record breaking day with a shitload of posts.

Anonymous said...

Just like a fucktard to make a statement about Ashley's political incorrectness while managing to work a retarded kid reference in there. Fucktard, heal thyself. Quit making the rest of us anonymous posters look bad with your ignorance and dumbassery.

txchic said...

OMG!! You absolutely had me laughing out loud at this one.

"Are you sad because your mom was too busy giving blow jobs for crack to have you evaluated"

You're right! We do love you and love it. Keep 'em coming!!

The_Joyous_Quintet said...

She loves you, Ashley, she really fucking loves you hence her irrational, yet laughable attempt at trying to slash you down to her level using, but of course, her trusty, old cunt claws. They worked for her in 5th grade, why not use them again?

Give us the low-down on the latest cunt aka stalker. ISP? Let's track this bitch down and make her beg for mercy!! Mwahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhaaaa!!

LceeL said...

Whew! Glad that wasn't me! If I had my head any further up my ass I wouldn't be able to breathe. And then where would I be? Besides having a shitty outlook on life? Anyway, remember, even fucktards have a purpose, even if it's nothing more than to remind us just how fucked up it COULD be.

stacekat said...

I'm one of your 10000 people that never posts. Sorry :( But back to the reference at hand I have to agree that anonymous random asshat needs to pull her head out of her bootie.

I do <3 you and your blog! Thank you for making me laugh every day!

Snooty Primadona said...

Hey, I love dumb people. They are always my favorite, but then I shoot them the finger a lot when they get in my way. Still, I just love those fucktards. I especially like to take their money in poker. Thank gawd for idiots & morons. Yeah!