Ashley: Scootch over, computer time's over, it's my turn.
Big Kid: No. No, you move. Don't you move me. You are a nasty gull. You are gettin' on da computer on my computer time and dat is bery nasty. How about if I dest tuwn da computer off and no one gets to play? How bout dat? Because you are a nasty gull, you said 2 minutes and I said 10 minutes and I don't fink it was eben 2 minutes.
little kid reaches over and turns the computer off.
Big Kid: Yeah, he needs to go to time out. Dat was bad. But now it's my tuwn on da computer. Get up.
Ashley: No. It's my turn. Back off.
Big Kid: Dat's it. You're dest goin' to jail.
Big Kid: Yep. I'm callin' da policeman right now and you're gonna go to jail.
Ashley: For what?
Big Kid: Bein nasty. I'm gonna tell him you tooked my computer time and he will take you to jail.
(I ignore him)
I dest had an idea. I've got a choice dor you.
We can play spwoutonline.com togethuh. How is dat dor a choice?
Big Kid: Why not?
Ashley: Because. It's my turn.
Big Kid: It is your tuwn on spwoutonline.com.
Ashley: No, Sproutonline.com stinks.
Big Kid: No it doesn't. You know it doesn't.
Ashley: It smells like rotten broccoli.
Big Kid: You're not dunny. You should to to jail dest dor sayin' dat. It's not dunny.
(I ignore him, we all know I'm funny.)
I can't believe you dest ewased all my games. To get on your website. I fink Spwoutonline.com is a better choice dan your website.
Da policeman is on his way here right now. How do you feel bout goin to jail?
Ashley: Pretty good, pretty good indeed. I can't wait til he gets here.
Big Kid: You're so nasty.
Well, I'm gonna call a policeman and put you in jail and you won't get on your computer anymore. (pacing around, wiping tears away). Dis is not right. You know dis is not right.
Well you took my computer away and you should have to go to your room. Til you go to jail. So dest go. When daddy gets home, you're gonna go in your room and not come out til bedtime.